don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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