I just cut my nipple shaving
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
