That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
