I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
