I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
