I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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