how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
