I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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