Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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