I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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