well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
