It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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