Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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