Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
