I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
