What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He felt like a one man threesome
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
