Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
