a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
