Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
