we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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