Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Someone came in the potted fern
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
