i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
