He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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