I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
