I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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