dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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