I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
