he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
