We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
