I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
