Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
