found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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