its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
