never play flip cup with pint glasses
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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