3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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