I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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