apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
