you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Blow job season was short but glorious.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
