Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
