You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
