haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
