Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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