ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
