I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I will be naked everywhere
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
