i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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