I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you would pick up someone in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize