i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
