just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
