porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
