And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
