If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
