They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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