careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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