Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
