i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
