I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
