Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Damn victory sex feels great
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
