Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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