East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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